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5 entries · Apr 2026–Apr 2026

4.7.2026 - Pilot

Ok so basically I’m gonna try to start something where I write everyday. Here is the catch: only 5 minutes. Timer is there to make me think fast and also not make this too daunting, so I can easily do it everyday. I can increase this limit after a week or two if I am going strong.

The motivation for this is that I have realized I blundered pretty bad lately. I chose to view screen addiction as an addiction. There are a LOT of bad things this led to for me: basically I was thinking about it way more than normal, which led to me having a ton of decision fatigue and staying up late and doing things I really ought not do. Long story short: BIG MISTAKE.

Now, I am here to do what science says is the answer: be additive! It makes sense rationally: focus on removal and there is nothing left, you go crazy. Focus on addition, and you have so much that the bad stuff just doesn’t have time in the spotlight at all. I think I’ve known this to be true for some time, but it never seemed to work for me. I think because my goals were too extreme, or I changed them too quickly, or really any number of reasons. All in all, I’m gonna take it at a far more reasonable pace, un-fuck my brain slowly, and try to make a healthier relationship with screentime.

Thinking I want to post this stuff on Substack, too, maybe it will be able to help others…

4.9.2026 - Oops missed a day

Another 5 minutes, here we go: first, just wanted to note I totally forgot to do this yesterday and ended up staying up late for no reason, so my evidence is clear! Write = healthy, no write = unhealthy! I shall keep writing. I have a feeling these will be a bit scatterbrained for a while, as I’m still getting into the whole writing thing like this, and I have a lot of things that I want to talk about.

First, I want to talk through my approach so far, and how I plan on keeping things working well witohut any screen time limitations. I now view these limits as potentially useful barriers for limiting screentime, but it was never gonna work for me. It was felt more like a mental shackle lately. So now, intead of this, I have removed all the blocks! And instead, I will practice something called Acceptance and Committing Therapy, or ACT for short. The basic concept is that whenever I feel an urge to scroll social media, or play games, or whatever, I will let the feeling wash over me, and very explicitly tell myself, “I feel this feeling, and I need not do anything about it. I will be ok after it fades.” Honestly super useful so far, at least there is some placebo that I feel I want to work harder and on cool stuff, but this all takes time, so I’m doing my best, one day at a time!

4.10.2026 - practicing ACT

Another day, another 5 minute writing sesh. Honestly although I know this takes time and does not work perfectly immediately, it is hard to deal with concerning results, like scrolling more or playing games with no control / blockers in place. And, of course, I cannot believe that there will be some divine enlightenment where I just become the goat. It takes effort, which means doing other interesting stuff in place of the old!

So, what stuff is interesting to me right now, and how can it fill the gaps? For me, there are a few things that are focuses (outside of schoolwork ofc). First and foremost, although it is not super interesting, it is figuring out a plan for at the minimum the next 3 months. A job, an internship, research, whatever it may be. Worst case, I graduate and go home to chill w family and grind open source. Some things looking promising right now, we shall see where they go!

The other real interesting things to me are RL and MLSys, which are related but not super related. One thing I think I need to remember to make meaningful progress is that I should not start random slop full stack projects, but instead should focus on 1-2 projects, preferrably just 1, and make something really awesome, even if it is not inspiring all the time. The power laws on this do not lie.

Also, I have been trying to practice the ACT framework more. Whenever I go on social media, (honestly have pretty bad at this so far but) I will breathe in, say “I feel the urge to scroll rn, but I will let it wash over me like a light rainfall and then it will go away and I will be better for it.” Lowkey I feel like I gotta practice this like 3x10 a day on purpose or something, it’s really easy to forget in the moment (operant conditioning ftw).

4.12.2026 - correlation upheld

Magically, I forgot to write again yesterday and magically I stayed up really late doing random bullshit. I’m seeing a pattern here…. Writing cures this mental disease. I’ve actively thinking about ACT is quite helpful, and I expect it will continue to become more powerful with practice. It’s really like the image training in Dragon Ball - I can imagine myself going onto whatever I feel the pang for, X, Youtube, etc. hype my brain up as much as I can, and just let the feeling fade away with no action. I can bascially just hit this for reps, no need to wait for real urges, really big gain for me.

Another thing is that there are times when ACT just goes out the window because I’m too tired to even think of it, but not tired enough to click on an app. Thus, I propose a potentially radicalized change: moving my extension cord (along with all chargers) out to a corner in the living room. Additionally, just leaving my bag out there, and not pretending that I will be productive by trying to work at my standing desk when I can basically fall backwards onto my comfy bed. The thing with all of this is that I can’t just say it, I have to actually DO it. I’ve had this happen quite a few times in the past, actually, where I tell myself I will do something (ex. wake up at 6 am, start running regularly, cut to 195, the list could go on and on). I have to actually EXECUTE and put together a real plan of action where I am incentivized to follow it, whatever the means may be.

That is where I must get creative, because how can I incentivize myself to do this annoying thing of moving my chargers and leaving my computer outside my room? Existential ideals can’t really apply here, because even though there would be a higher likelihood of working more, potentially getting deeper into MLSys or getting school done quicker, these are not something the brain will go to when trying to rationalize this huge chunk of dopamine I’m leaving behind. I’m thinking right now that I could start a book or something, read something interesting and start firing dopamine while doing this instead. This will still be hard at first, and may fail, but for now it is something I want to like and do more, so we shall see where I get with it.

This has been far longer than 5 minutes, I’ll be back tomorrow!

4.15.2026 - correlation upheld pt 2

Surprise surprise, I miss writings (even if for a decent reason) and I find out the harsh truth that rigorous upkeep of my practice, my discipline is necessary to push past my limits and accomplish incredible things. I worked with an awesome team the last couple days and I can see what it takes to move mountains. It showed me how much of a slacking bitch I have been at school. Nowhere in my mind have I been able to work as long as I did there. Because the honest truth is that I AM smart and capable, I really just don’t apply myself as rigorously as I could. I absolutely have the capacity to learn thunderkittens, to read papers, to get all my work done in a timely manner, but I have not. It is uncomfortable to think about, but I am confident that I can improve this standing with some changes. For real this time, when I go home I move my extension cord and all chargers to the living room. No more tech @ home, practice ACT more and more. I will do a couple reps rn after finishing writing this to build it up. See ya tomorrow.